Monday, April 25, 2005

Sometimes the Snow Comes Down in June (or late April)

Seriously, what the hell, weather? It's almost May and the Midwest getstons of snow dumped on its wide ass? And now it’s supposed to rain every day from here until Memorial Day? Chork!

Anyway, so I was sitting home alone watching TV last Friday night (shut up!) and I got lured into watching one of those boxed-set CD infomercials. Anyone remember my post on the old Prox about Monsta Jamz?

Well, at first I thought this was another damn Proactiv commercial because I saw Vanessa L. Williams pop up in a room full of soothing, earth-toned overstuffed furniture and flickering candles. I think the camera had an entire jar of Vaseline smeared on it to give ‘Nessa that special senior portrait glow (seriously, if she uses the Proactiv, does she really need that mess?). I was about to change the channel because I just couldn’t stomach a night home alone watching P. Diddy chat with Vanessa Williams about how he wouldn’t be the “superstar mogul” he is today with his horrible, terrible acne. In case you didn’t know, Diddy one of Proactiv’s new spokespeople.

But then this other lady scooted out and snuggled up to Vanessa on the couch and the songs started rolling up the screen. I was hooked, eyes glazed, mouth agape and drooling over this musical compliation known as the Ultimate Love Songs collection from, who else, the good people at Time Life.

Man, I want this CD. These songs are so cheesy good––“You’re the Inspiration” by Chicago, “Right Here Waiting” by Richard Marx, “Can’t Fight this Feeling” by REO Speedwagon, “These Dreams” by Heart––that song alone conjures up memories of cruising around with my mom in her brown 86 Toyota Celica. I really, really want this five-volume set to enjoy and appreciate in a completely earnest, irony-free way. Listening to Whitney Houston sing “The Greatest Love” (aww, remember when she wasn’t all cracked out?) brought back more than just memories of me knowing every word to that song and singing it at the top of my lungs on the way home from tap class. I’m not ashamed to say it might have yanked out some tears––the fact that I was sitting home alone a few glasses into a bottle of wine probably didn’t hurt either; let’s be honest.

But come on, guys! This CD is so cool! For everyone that lived in the dorms with me in college, I know you were wondering and yes it does, in fact, boast the Celine Dion hit “The Power of Love.”

The one sad meta moment came when I saw “The Best for Last” scroll by. Vanessa Williams is on the CD and she’s hosting the late-night infomercial. What happened to her career? I guess it’s a slippery slope from Radio Shack to Cher Station. Guess she didn't save the best for last.
"These Dreams" is such an awesome song. Thanks for reminding me about that one, Lady.

The best thing about compilation infomercials is that they provide nearly endless ammunition for online music theft. I used to watch them in college and write down all the songs I wanted and then go steal them. How I managed to miss that classic Heart cut is beyond me.
Time Life has great cd collections. I bought a 10 cd set of MOTOWN hits from them, which includes a lot of Smokey Robinson. It's my favorite cd investment..but pricey- it's about 17 dollars a cd!
whoa! $17 a CD? that is some pricey motown! i don't know if even smokey is worth that.
To comment on the Proactiv...have you ever seen P-Diddy's "acne"? He had one huge zit, sorry there buddy, thats not acne. I hate Proactiv dammit!
My god alison. I wish I had been there to watch that infomercial and cry in my wine with you. I miss hanging out in your dorm right about now. why'd we have to get all old. and here's a bigger question:

why'd ya grease the lightnin'?
steph, that's like you when you get a zit (which is about once every two years). it's tiny and pink and as adorable as a pimple can possibly be. you are so gross, steph! get on proactiv!
Shut it Ali! I get gross ones too! Anyways, have you listened to the Indy station 104.5....they played These Dreams the other day. They play some random stuff.
leah, that truly is one of the world's great mysteries. no one will ever now how, when or why the lightening was greased. just rest, content in the knowledge that i'm your lady, and you are my man....or something like that.

i'm just really hungry right now
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