Friday, October 15, 2004

Can I pancho this trend in the gut?

So somebody's got to say it, and I might as well be the one. I'm not down to clown with the panchos as a fashion statement. Sure, if you're at a theme park and it starts to rain and you really need one of those day glo orange things to keep you dry, it's all good. But why are they suddenly the go-to cover up when a coat or jacket is just too much to bear. I mean really, who has time to put their arms through two whole sleeves and zip up the front (well, actually Teresa Heinz Kerry might want to look into panchos...she was having a hell of a time zipping up her jacket during Edward's speech last night). Just last summer, I was at a Beastie Boys concert in the pouring rain, and everyone was decked out Six Flags monsoon style. One of the B-Boys looked out into the crowd and said, "Hah,it's great to see you all rockin' the panchos tonight." A little throwaway phrase but it stuck with me becuase of the hilarity. I always wondered how in the hell would one "rock" a lameass piece of clothing like a pancho. I guess I was wrong and Mike D or Ad Rock or whoever was really the arbiter of our fashion future.

Does anyone from my high school remember that hippy guy that cut a hole in an old blanket with a cheetah on it and stuck his head through it, creating his own diy pancho? Just a little uglier than those baja thingys that were on their way out. This is what I think of when I see pictures of Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston out and about in their little tents. They have practically perfect bodies and look like douchebags, so how is this going to work for me? I just can't wait to see this paired with a nice baby blue pair of Uggs. Even slate had something to say on this.

Now bolero jackets, on the other hand? So very darling...but still won't look good on me.

You watch what you say about Bajas
I'm not a big pancho fan, either. Except in Unbreakable. If you're a hero trolling the streets in the rain, you should rock a pancho.
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